Solving the summer workwear conundrum
Stuck in a summer workwear rut? Choose cleverly, and you should be able to get five good years from a cleverly chosen summer look, with Lisa Armstrong's guide
Cheap and cheerful can be just the ticket for summer weekends and holidays, especially when it's cotton, muslin or cheese-cloth. If you want to assemble a holiday wardrobe of off-duty, natural-fabric bargains for around £50, I recommend Gap, which seems to be permanently discounting these days…
But if you're shopping for workwear, aim high, because summer work clothes have a big job on their hands. They mustn't make you sweat (it's always their fault if you do, not yours). Nor can they cling to your thighs, turn transparent in photographs, give you bum cleavage or otherwise humiliate you. They are categorically forbidden from wrinkling, drooping or being cut in such a way that finding a bra sends you into a vortex of self-loathing.
They must be breathable, comfortable, flattering , chic and hold their shape. They shouldn't clamp, constrict or chafe. They should also - always - make you look slimmer. And while they're at it, they need to look timeless yet current - because for all the insanely useless trends that catwalks yield each summer, there are always one or two beauties.
You can see where this is leading, can't you? I'm going to tell you that the traditional way you've been divvying up your clothing expenditure - 10/12ths on winter items, 2/12ths on summer - is all wrong. And I am, not least because what invariably happens when a heatwave arrives is that one's brain, judgment and taste melt and one finds oneself fighting off the entire population for the last remaining short-sleeved, 100 per cent (or 10/10ths) polyester dress on the high street.
Is it a nice dress? It is not. Will it make our abs perspire? Affirmative. What the hell were we thinking? We weren't.
Summer fashions change slowly, the pragmatic solutions for warm weather dressing being far more limited than for cold weather. Once an idea gains currency, it tends to stick around, summer after summer - witness how long the gladiator sandal held its ground, despite repeated attempts to kill it off by fashion editors; how popular maxis are still and how denim shorts seem to have discovered the secret of eternal life.
Choose cleverly, and you should be able to get five good years from a cleverly chosen summer look. Potentially that's ten months wear which requires an entirely different equation. Why hasn't Michael Gove put this on the national curriculum?
Here are the eight best summer ideas to have emerged from the catwalks recently:
1 THE TRENCH DRESS
Featuring the styling details of a trench - buttons, pockets, belts, lapels - this is a stylish, versatile summer piece that's perfect for layering over t-shirts and even thin jumpers, but also looks slick and very Veep, on its own. For trouser-wearers, the trench-waist-coat is a terrific jacket option.
Dress £585 Burberry London; stylebop.com. Dress £265 APC; 0207 729 7727. Dress £141; gerarddarel.com
2 THE JUMPSUIT
Prima facie evidence that trends work their way through the fashion system at the speed of a plodisaurus, these have been the coming thing since 2006. And now they're finally here - and not going anywhere. They have all the plusses of a trench-dress, plus the extra bonus of not actually being a dress and denying the paps their upskirt shot. Genius.
Jumpsuit £39.99; zara.com. Jumpsuit £298; jcrew.com
3 SHINY FOOTWEARWhether it's patent, or metal embellished, a glossy shoe adds a polished gleam to even the most laid-back dress.
Shoes £225; lkbennett.com
4 NEOPRENEBear with me. On its own, neoprene has all the downsides of a sauna while looking overbearingly Jacques Cousteau-ish and way too fashion for most offices. But mixed with something else, it becomes your best friend: a fabric that holds its structure, which means your lovely full skirt will remain full and lovely, even when everything else, including the orchids in reception, have wilted and passed out.
Skirt £30; asos.com. Skirt £630 David Szeto; avenue32.com
5 PLEATSYes, these were also on the catwalks last year and the year before. This merely proves the point about summer trends sticking around. Avoid any that stop above the knee - you're not in the Brownies any more - and relish the sensory delight, because these will make you feel as feminine as Carrie Bradshaw in a prom dress - without actually having to endure the humiliation of wearing a prom dress. Especially good when played off with a waist-cinching tailored jacket.
Skirt £225; sunspel.com. Blouse £190, jumper £380 and skirt £375 all Rebecca Taylor; 0207 580 8644
6 DRAMATICALLY CROPPED TROUSERSAka Culottes, possibly in fabrications that contain neoprene. Wear with a cotton shirt, block heels and prepare to wow your colleagues who will be awed by your ability to mix high fashion with an outfit that assertively points to its own work ethic.
Culottes £237.67 Tibi; shopbop.com. Culottes £79; marksandspencer.com
7 THE DUSTER COAT
In a bold, wouldn't-wear-it-in-winter-print, or a deliciously frivolous, wouldn't-wear-this-either sorbet hue, this will elevate your trusty black trousers and shirts into a joyous statement of optimism, as well as providing a team-building conversation piece.
Coat £78; thewhitepepper.com. Coat £410 Tara Jarmon; harveynichols.com
8 MID HEELSWhoever said the 110cm heel was empowering needs their head examining. Moderation is back in fashion. It's always fashionable in the office.
Shoes £290; paulsmith.co.uk. Shoes £32; topshop.com
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LAGGING FOR LADIES WHO LUNCH
Every summer, designers predict the return of the one piece swimsuit, and every summer, with the sterling exception of Victoria Beckham, who was probably wearing her own design and therefore doesn't count, womankind invariably ignores them. It's a conundrum though, isn't it? Post lunch, one longs to shield one's tummy with a very controlling piece of Lycra. On really bad days, one contemplates doing a Nigella. But there's always the heat to consider. A one piece seems so hot. The answer could be the Retro Two Piece. Contoured, cantilevered, and with built-in ventilation, it could be swimwear's answer to a convertible Mini. I hope so, because I've just bought one.
Bikini top £127 and bottoms £86; prismlondon.com. Bikini top £29 and bottoms £25;boden.co.uk
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FLOWERS IN YOUR HAIR, 2014
It has been yonks since that Frida Kahlo movie, so maybe it's all those gap yahs in South American that have sparked the current craze for floral embellished hairbands. Either way they're very pretty, although I think they probably come with a (top) age restriction. If your teenage years are behind you but life seems incomplete without appliquƩ flowers, how about these earrings instead, or a petal-strewn evening clutch?
Hairband £15; crownandglory.bigcartel.com. Earrings £975; kiki.co.uk ***
